The quarterlife crisis

From the moment I turned 24 years old, 363 days ago, I dreaded turning 25. It's amazing how a number can create all sorts of internal crises. During my childhood and adolescence, I remember imagining what life would be like when I was 25. Perhaps I thought I would be climbing the corporate ladder, travelling the world for a highly-paid job, married (with children?), be a famous musican, a world-reknown sports player, Secretary General of the United Nations. The list goes on and on as far as the innocent child's imagination stretches.

I recently read an article in The Guardian, where the headline read, "The quarterlife crisis: young, insecure and depressed". It went on saying:

It is supposed to be the time of opportunity and adventure, before mortgages and marriage have taken their toll. But struggling to cope with anxieties about jobs, unemployment, debt and relationships, many young adults are experiencing a "quarterlife crisis", according to new research by British psychologists    

A little depressing, isn't it? There is a lot to be said about the different factors contributing to this feeling and crisis that young people face, but I won't go into them.

The truth is so far my life has turned out completely differently to how I planned it. I would never have believed that I would be living in Spain, in a small village with a view of the Pyrenees, immersed in a non-English speaking community, have friends from all over the world, be working with languages, travelling constantly, teaching English and be my own boss. I sometimes wonder how I got here and then I remember.

I too faced the same crisis many young people face, graduating from university into an unstable and uncertain job market. I had to leave the part of the world I grew up in and where my family lives because I didn't have the right passport or the right contacts to tick all the boxes for the bureacratic, red tape. I had to move away from my field of study, law, and explore other options. As I took this massive leap of faith, a very wise person said to me, "All you need to have to achieve anything in life is passion and courage. A lot of people have passion, but not many people have the courage to do anything about their passion." And so I leapt.

It's only when we face real crisis that our character is truly tested. Sometimes doors are closed for us when we don't have the strength to do it ourselves. This is when people feel helpless and depressed about the outlook. But it really makes you stop, question and reassess your life. What I realised, far away from everything I had ever known and that had defined me, was that what I had always wanted was to live an extraordinary life, one that was interesting and adventurous. That is what had always been in my heart. I can still remember being 12 years old, sitting on the stoep on a warm African evening, telling my mother that. I didn't know what I wanted to be-a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a musician- but I knew how I wanted my character to be and how I wanted to feel as I lived my life. As I approach 25, I have accepted that outwardly, materialistically and on paper, I am not what I hoped to be all those years ago. But I am, in fact, exactly who and where I'm meant to be.

Paulo Coehlo says, "Don’t predict or forecast. Have a goal in life and be open to the sign." This means that in a crisis, we need to be versatile, willing to adapt and stray from the road described on the map. It means when you see an opporunity, take it and make the most of it, even if it wasn't the opportunity you were waiting for. And who knows where it will lead you? Maybe to a small village in Spain?

"In omnia paratus: Prepared for all things"